On fear and adventure

I’m getting ready to head off again
the intrepid traveller trailing red push pins across a map
signifying places visited, fears conquered.
I’m affraid, as always,
of the unknown, the imagined,
seeking adventure I cower from mind-made terrors;
is this how we grow stronger,
surviving what doesn’t kill us,
or is it just me, the way I think,
holding myself back as I tie myself in uneeded knots?

I’ll let you know when I return (if)
from red-gold sands striped with animal tracks –
jackal and lion, snake and cheetah and more.

As I lie unsleeping, unblinking, wide-eyed, in a tent
under a vast network of desert stars,
only canvas separating me from the wild,
I will think of you, of this, of home,
I will remember standing here
writing in my cocoon of boredom and safety
and only then – under the stars in a distant, foreign night –
will this faint excitement, these captured butterflies,
feel tame.

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3 thoughts on “On fear and adventure

  1. I’m sure you will have such a wonderful journey! Conquering the fear is part of the accomplishment. 🙂
    I love the last stanza especially, because it speaks to a cycle of restlessness/complacency/curiosity I know very well. (Except for the tent part. I am not comfortable with only canvas separating me from anything.)

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