I want a change. I need one. I think I’ve been fighting it for months. I want to get back to basics, as a friend of mine said yesterday. I want to get back to lighthearted writing, to pouring my heart out without self-doubt and analysis, without even a backward glance. Without editing (gasp!). Well, maybe with minimal editing…
I want to get back to reading what everyone else has been writing.
I want to walk away from deadlines in this space.
Everywhere else, I have deadlines, urgencies, pressures. Why would I turn this safe space into yet one more of those?
Before, when I had none of these things, when my days stretched out before me as hundreds of unmarked, empty white squares on a calendar, a little structure was fine, even helpful. I went from freeform blogging to scheduled challenge entries interspersed with freeform blogging. Back then, at the height of my freedom, I wrote daily. Sometimes more.
But now that life has returned to normal (in this case, normal is defined as a regular job with its fair share of pressure and household and family duties that are squeezed tightly into before-work and after-work), it’s time as I said to change again.
It’s time to revamp this space, to make it my safe space again. No strings. No requirements. No expectations.
That’s what it won’t be. What it already isn’t. I don’t even know what it will be, what it is.
And that’s ok. That’s part of the freedom, the beauty. The reason I started this blog in the first place.
It’s like a weight has lifted. And I find myself returning more easily already to this new anti-gravity space.