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He pushes open the door; he knows this restaurant. With sticky fingers, he grabs the sugar packets, crunching them between hungry jaws. Granules scatter across the floor.
No more crickets! His roar is triumphant, strong, unafraid.
He’s flying high, before the crash.
I am indebted to the wonderful writers in the Yeah Write Bronze Lounge whose insights, suggestions and questions helped me rework this piece from its original form:
Matted fur; hands release the latch. He’s done this before. Sticky fingers grab at packets, stuff them into hungry jaws.
Labels are meaningless patterns as granules scatter across the floor.
A triumphant roar: Crickets no more!
He’s flying high, before the crash.
The Silver Leaf Journal 
I like how you changed from the original and used the photo to give us the context. Well done.
Thank you, Sarah Ann. Your comments and input really helped me along 🙂
Who can’t get on-board with a monkey rebellion! Nice work. Love that sugar sent the little bugger skyward! Also, you can see the advancement of your story from the original. Great job! TiV
Thank you for your comment. It definitely benefitted from all the input I received. I’m glad you liked it!
So happy to see this piece on the grid! I can feel those sticky fingers and hear that crunching. Great sensory detail.
Wonderful. This gives ‘sugar high’ a whole new meaning. Love it.
Sugar high is exactly what came to mind when I first read the prompt. Thank you!
Yes! So glad to see this posted up! Well done. (:
Thank you, Renada, and thanks for your comments and thoughts over in the Bronze Lounge!
Thanks for including the original as well. It was really cool to see the transition/changes you made. Baboons scare me! lol This was very well done.
Thank you, Jen. I definitely benefitted from our fellow writers’ input 🙂
Love your revisions. Very concise and precise. Well done!
Thank you, Kathy!
The revisions and the picture make this so strong! Great work, Silver. I also love that your story continues off the page.
Well, Nate summed it up: you did a great job revising this and the picture really helps supply the extra context.
Thank you, and really, thank you for contributing to the process. Your input helped hugely!
Thank you, and thank you also for contributing to the revisions! Your comments are always very much appreciated. And I realized I never responded to the side note about the horses. That’s incredible! If it wasn’t in Nat Geo, I’d doubt whether it was true.
I missed the lounge this week, but I liked seeing how you changed this from the draft. Great use of the photo too.
I loved how, with so little information, you were able to capture the monkey’s sheer delight with his roar of “Crickets no more!” I can’t help but feel pleased for the guy 🙂