I’m really a creature of habit, and if I don’t push myself, I tend to draw inwards and allow myself to be lulled into a sense of security by repeating the same activities over and over.
That’s why it took me so long to recognize that I needed to take a break from work. And it’s also the reason I didn’t bother to blog for, well, forever.
Looking back, I realize now that those were two momentous and important changes I made last year. They moved me further forward in my life than most of the other new things I’ve tried…and are comparable in impact to moving to Ireland and having my son.
At the time, though, they were just the obvious next steps I needed to take in my life.
What to do this year?
I want to take the time I have, while I’m off work, to try something new. It just makes sense to do it now, rather than trying to fit something new into a schedule that will be crammed with work, my son’s activities, family time, and writing.
I take a long time to make a decision, appear indecisive in the process, and mull all the pros and cons over until I have everything worked out. But once my decision is made, it’s made, and it takes even longer for me to un-make it.
So I’d better get started.
I know myself well enough to know that when I start a new activity, I will be nervous, full of self-doubt and very self-conscious, especially if I’m doing something in front of, or with, other people.
Even though I’ve done yoga for years, I still go through those feelings when I walk into a class.
Since I’m thinking of doing something creative, something like a visual art, in a class scenario and with a teacher, I think I will probably feel this even more keenly. But, I’m excited and exhilarated too.
It would be much easier to hide in my comfort zones, writing, reading, skating in the winter, starting to run again come spring.
And I’m sure part of my stalling strategy will be focused on how there are so very many activities to choose from, and that I need to make sure I choose the right one.
But choose one I must.
I started looking at pottery and other visual art classes today. And I considered volunteering at the local book shop. Photography? Maybe finding a writers’ group…
But I’m open to suggestions. Anyone?